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Embracing the words Radical Responsibility was the turning point in my life. Ownership, choices, and responsibility were the cornerstone words that the counselors, therapists and substance abuse support workers repeatedly told me I needed to embrace. Sounds great in theory. It still didn’t give me a starting point. Besides I was too busy trying to save my teens’ from their struggles to take care of me. I’d get to me later. Or so I thought. 
One day while on Facebook, I saw Brene Brown’s Ted Talk on Vulnerability, it started to click. I had so much shame as a parent for the path my kids were on that I was hiding in the world, wearing a mask, pretending I had it all together, and literally feeding my shame all day long. It wasn’t anyone else’s fault. It was my own doing, my choice to give shame so much fuel and power over me. The shame actually wasn’t about my kids. It was all about me. I felt I failed as a parent, a wife, and literally as a person. When I understood I was the one feeding my shame then I was also the person who could stop repeating the cycle.
I slowly learned how to embrace vulnerability and share my story from my point of view. The more I shared, the more my courage grew, and the more I continued to share. I shared the lessons I learned, how it was changing me as a person, and how by sharing it I was feeling a level of freedom I hadn’t experienced before. I was learning to let go of control, and taking control and ownership of what was mine to own….me. I’d lost myself in this process. I’d stopped taking care of myself, my health, weight, energy, mindset, and outlook had all deteriorated over the years. Using all of my energy to control something I had no possible control over drained me of any energy to manage myself.
I learned the power of ownership, owning my own choices, and letting go of everything else. It gave me my life back and in a bizarre twist helped me to repair my relationship with my boys. They have been and will continue to be my best teachers in life and they have their own lives and journeys to live.
The message continued to spread and in 2017 I released my book When She Stopped Asking Why. This title was important because I had to learn to stop asking why. Why was a victim question and I was tired of being a victim? Changing my questions to what questions meant getting into action and focusing on what I could control, again that was me.
I have since released my podcast, Own Your Choices Own Your Life because I truly believe that with ownership we can change anything. This led to helping other women learn how to overcome and share their stories. This eventually led to programs helping women to take Radical Responsibility with their stories to create massive impact. I’m so proud and excited to watch these women overcome stories that once held them down, literally missing living their lives to now building businesses that impact, serve, and support others.
This journey really can be summed up with 3 simple phrases:
- Learning to “out” my story
- Learning to “own” my story, that is taking ownership for everything that is mine to own and letting go of everything else.
- Learning how to “stand on” my story vs standing in it. When we stand in it, the story has the power. When we stand on it, we take back our personal power. It’s a small mind shift and it truly makes all the difference in the world!
I’m so grateful for the lessons that I learned and the power of radical responsibility. It truly saved my life.
Links:
https://www.facebook.com/marshavanwynsberghe
https://www.instagram.com/marshavanw
Own Your Choices Own Your Life Podcast:
https://ownyourchoicesownyourlife.libsyn.com/rss
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